Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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