butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
