Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
