Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
We just shotgunned beers for America
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
