I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
