Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
