Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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