so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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