hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I want a musical about memes.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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