So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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