so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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