I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
