it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
