In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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