Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
