i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
