You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
