Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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