grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
