Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
