he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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