why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
