Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
The power of my boobs compel you
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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