I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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