I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
the room spins SO much faster in panama
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Randomize
