i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Randomize
