so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
