As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
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her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
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It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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