...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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