it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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