is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
