how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
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