Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
