At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Randomize
