Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
In America we eat man semen.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
