Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
