Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
