Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i just had sex bonerless
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
And then he peed in my hair
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