The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
