What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
