But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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