I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
