dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
My balls are so social today.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
