It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
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I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
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They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I supernannyed him into submission
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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