I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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