what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
