Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
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I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
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my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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