Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
