you would pick up someone in the library
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
