I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
