Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
