I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
