Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
