Duck Duck Cougar?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
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