Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Randomize
