I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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