i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize