Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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