garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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