Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I love how my cats smell like pot.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
