The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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