I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Sext me about skeletons
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
