yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Randomize
