I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
