come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
