Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize