Tell her she can't have a vagina
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
