she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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