i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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