I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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