We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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