You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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