the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Boobs speak an international language.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
