She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
