Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
