Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
