How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
