So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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